Let’s face it, we’ve all been through toxic relationships.
They’re like seasons. Sometimes, they are warm as summer, but they can also be as cold as winter. Most of the time, things get out of hand and all we’re left with are abusive and draining relationships at the end.
Their missed calls don’t get us worried anymore. They only end up in our cellphone’s notification bars unnoticed. Gone are the days when nights ended with resolved fights. “I love you’s” turn into “I don’t care’s”, “I want to see you” turns into “I’m busy”, and “I’ll always be yours” turns into “I can’t take this any longer.”
Moving on from these kinds of relationships may seem impossible, but remember there is always a rainbow after every storm. Are you ready to take that extra leap of faith and start anew?
Here are 10 things you can do to move on from a toxic relationship:
1. Acknowledge the situation
This may sound hard, but you have to know that acknowledging the situation is the first step towards acceptance.
To move on from a toxic relationship, it’s important to admit that there was something wrong with the relationship and that there was nothing we could do to make it all better.
We may have tried our hardest in the past to patch things up with our partners, but if at the end of the day nothing works, I think it’s fine time to move forward and free ourselves from the chains of this relationship.
So as soon as you leave a toxic relationship, acknowledge the pain and the hurt because that’s what makes us human.
The next step to acknowledging the situation is acceptance.
Truth be told, a toxic relationship used to be the relationship that gave you all the butterflies in your stomach. All those promises shared on a rainy Tuesday evening while sipping hot chocolate made you think it was all going to end with you walking down the aisle.
But you have to snap out of it and accept that this is not nurturing you any longer. Accept that you have not lost anything. By all means, you have gained experience and have become smarter in handling relationships. You have learned more about yourself too and that is definitely a win already.
3. Surround yourself with friends
Our circle of friends never fail to assure us that we are more than what we think we are and toxic relationship can affect your self-esteem and can get you thinking that there’s something wrong with you.
That’s when your friends come in. They bring you up and assure you how smart, brave, and beautiful you are as a human being and that you do not need a partner to validate you.
4. Spend time with your family
You may have been used to spending your Saturday nights with your lover, but now that it’s all over, what better way to spend your weekend than with your family?
Do a karaoke night, play games with your niece, cook with your mom, or even watch a movie with your sister.
Spending time with the family can always make anything feel lighter and make you stop thinking that weekends were only made for intimate relationships.
Weekends can be about family, too.
5. Go back to your usual hobbies
We all know about the relationships that took all our time and made us forget who we used to be back when we were single. Going back to your usual hobbies can be very therapeutic.
Return to your old notebook and write poetry, make songs, jam with your high school bands again. All of these things can help you feel brand new.
6. Discover new things
Learn a new skill as simple as riding a bicycle or join an organization within your community. Aside from getting more free time, you get to meet and hang out with new people. And on top of that, you get to discover a whole new world that can help you grow as a person.
7. Take time to heal
Trust in the process. We all go through a point in our lives when we think things will never get better.
But one day we’ll wake up and thank the universe it all happened. One day, the pain won’t sting like it used to. One day we will blossom, heal, and become the better version of ourselves.
Don’t be afraid to take that extra step to be happy.
8. Thank the one who hurt you
Thanking the one who hurt you may not be easy but it is one way to let go of the bitter feelings and move forward. Thank them for teaching you a multitude of lessons along the way.
Thank them for teaching you that love can be unconditional and that forgiving can be limitless. Thank them because, at the end of the day, they taught you how to love yourself and how to forgive the old you for the choices you have made in the past.
9. Put yourself out there
The world has so much to offer. Don’t be afraid to try new things. Now that you have become the braver and the better version of yourself, don’t hesitate to try things you have never done.
Watch a movie alone, buy that plane ticket and travel, read the book you’ve always wanted to read, join a dance class. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there because you might just discover more about you.
It may have come pretty late but this version of you was worth the wait.
10. Don’t be afraid to fall in love again
In the midst of healing and in the midst of discovering the new you, you will find yourself surrounded by all the positive and the good things in the world. There you will start to notice the beauty in nature, the beauty in people, and the beauty in yourself.
But the universe has its way of playing with us and making our hearts smile once again. At some corner of this earth, may it be in a coffee shop, in a mall, or in a hosting gig you did on a random Saturday night, the world will give you another reason for your eyes to sparkle.
And at that moment you may feel afraid of the new feeling, feel afraid of the new human being the universe gave you, or feel afraid of the new stranger.
But I tell you, don’t be afraid of the kind of love you may fall into again.